When I lay in bed of a night, just before I drift off to sleep, my brain starts to slowly regress into that of a five year old. The topic of interest for my infantile self last night was breakfast food. I've got some crumpets in the cupboard at the moment which were quite dissapointing and I was beginning to regret not getting the scotch pancakes instead. Then I remembered a food from my actual childhood that had long since been forgotten. Piklets. I'm sure these actually existed and are not just something that I made up in a drowsy, half asleep state. They taste like, well, they're like softer crumpets in the shape of pancakes. And that's it really, that's all they are, even more dissapointing crumpets, because you're expecting pancakes, and what you get is spongy, floury nothing. That's when I wondered, did piklets get their name from the fact that they're a cross between crumpets and pancakes? Did the piklet naming comittee almost settle on crumpcakes instead? Perhaps then you wouldn't be quite so dissapointed, because at least crumpcakes sounds like they'd be made of sawdust, which frankly they might as well be.
As it goes, this was a fairly concise and intelligible train of thought. The only trouble with it was that throughout the half an hour or so that it lasted, the word 'crumpets' was replaced with the word 'crumplets'. A small slip, but it wasn't until I woke up the next morning that I realised that 'crumplets' are neither a word nor a food, and I suddenly felt stupid enough to actually be a five year old.
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Friday, 29 July 2011
A nod to the Brits
So, I've been watching David Mitchell's Soapbox (if you dont know what that is or who he is, youtube it, you wont be dissapointed) and smirking happily at the humour that is so cynical, grumpy and brilliant it can produce no other response. Listening to Mr Mitchell moan intellectually at the world around him always puts me in a mind frame to do the same (though I tend to fail terribly).
Later, when moaning to myself about some nonsense or other, I thought that its the kind of thing I would usually put on facebook, but as I'm trying to wean myself off facebook, I thought I'd share it with you good people. Then it hit me, would you understand what I was talking about? This particular moan is orientated somewhat towards a British audience, and those readers of you around the globe would have very little idea what I was talking about. Then it hit me, again, I doubt I have any readers, and those of you lovely enough to be consuming this, or stupid enough to stumble across it and give it a shot, are probably British anyway. So here it goes-
Richard Hammond; who does he think he is? Don't get me wrong, I've always liked the guy, he's fairly charming and comical, and a little bit cute, but only on Top Gear. He's someone who knew something about cars and was brought into the public eye to talk about them. He isn't a talk show host, he isn't a writer. He shouldnt be making documentories, or kids' shows, or science programmes, or game shows. I like little Hammond, or 'Hamster' as we all grew to know him, but I've lost all respect for him since he decided to stick his spoon into every televisual pot.
As for the others, I've never really had a soft spot for Jeremy Clarkson, I find him possibly the most irritating of the trio, but his articles are ammusing, and some what similar to the previously mentioned soapbox of Mr Mitchell (if not a little bit less intelligent, and a little bit more crass). James May? Endearing in a way that only your plaid-slipper-wearing uncle can be. A man that you want to give a cup of tea to and nod at while he regails you with tales of his 'youth'. Despite that, he made a very entertaining programme about toys of the past, and I think one about Lego, both good enough in an end-of -the-weekend-sunday-night kind of way.
To sum up, my problem with Hammond isn't that he's tried to broaden his career by dispersing his talents elsewhere, it's the fact that he has no other talents. The other Top Gear boys moved on, but they did it well. He's merely trying to branch into the world of badly written, poorly presented, 5 o clock afternoon programmes that only school kids and your granny watch.
Later, when moaning to myself about some nonsense or other, I thought that its the kind of thing I would usually put on facebook, but as I'm trying to wean myself off facebook, I thought I'd share it with you good people. Then it hit me, would you understand what I was talking about? This particular moan is orientated somewhat towards a British audience, and those readers of you around the globe would have very little idea what I was talking about. Then it hit me, again, I doubt I have any readers, and those of you lovely enough to be consuming this, or stupid enough to stumble across it and give it a shot, are probably British anyway. So here it goes-
Richard Hammond; who does he think he is? Don't get me wrong, I've always liked the guy, he's fairly charming and comical, and a little bit cute, but only on Top Gear. He's someone who knew something about cars and was brought into the public eye to talk about them. He isn't a talk show host, he isn't a writer. He shouldnt be making documentories, or kids' shows, or science programmes, or game shows. I like little Hammond, or 'Hamster' as we all grew to know him, but I've lost all respect for him since he decided to stick his spoon into every televisual pot.
As for the others, I've never really had a soft spot for Jeremy Clarkson, I find him possibly the most irritating of the trio, but his articles are ammusing, and some what similar to the previously mentioned soapbox of Mr Mitchell (if not a little bit less intelligent, and a little bit more crass). James May? Endearing in a way that only your plaid-slipper-wearing uncle can be. A man that you want to give a cup of tea to and nod at while he regails you with tales of his 'youth'. Despite that, he made a very entertaining programme about toys of the past, and I think one about Lego, both good enough in an end-of -the-weekend-sunday-night kind of way.
To sum up, my problem with Hammond isn't that he's tried to broaden his career by dispersing his talents elsewhere, it's the fact that he has no other talents. The other Top Gear boys moved on, but they did it well. He's merely trying to branch into the world of badly written, poorly presented, 5 o clock afternoon programmes that only school kids and your granny watch.
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